Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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