The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Terrible idea I love it
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
