so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
