I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Pants are for mortals
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
