I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
