I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
