If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize