its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize