I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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