you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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