Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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