when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize