When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
