He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
