my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize