if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
