she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
