Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
