dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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