so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
