I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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