My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize