Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
