Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
