$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
