How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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