Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
