I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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