Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
