I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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