so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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