Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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