made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We had sex on a dog bed..
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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