he puts the penis in happiness.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
