this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
