just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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