dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
