Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
