i need an iv and a liver transplant
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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