i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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