and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
