And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
