no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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