there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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