If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
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