He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
