So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Randomize
