Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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