So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
