I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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