Have you finally orgasmed yet?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
