Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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