He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
