They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
is wine microwaveable?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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