Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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